histrionicbiscuit:

batman-bands-butts:

eracist:

if i was ever gonna rob anything i would rob a UPS truck because you get all those packages and you have no idea whats inside its christmas morning all over again

what if you got dildos

itd still be christmas morning all over again

(via thefuuuucomics)

How I hear Sofia Vergara's Covergirl commercial:

  • Sofia Vergara: BOARD WIDTH CHORE JUAN TRIC LIPSTIC? DEN LID A DUBBLE LIVE! WIDTH NU BLASS FLIPSTIC FROM CUPBOARDGERL. CREAMY COLLAR ON JUAN END, CHIMMERY COLLAR ON THE UTTER. SO YOU CAN FLEP CHORE LOOK FROM DA MANURE TO DAIRY. NU BLASS FLIPSTIC FROM CUPBOARDGERL.

"Do not try to be pretty. You weren’t meant to be pretty; you were meant to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky. Don’t let anyone ever simplify you to just “pretty.”"

Things I Wish My Mother Had Taught Me | d.a.z (via alchemy)

(via javoperez)